I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
