She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
