Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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