ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize