You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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