he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
