we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
