Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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