My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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