Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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