her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
ugly people sure do ruin things
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
