he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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