When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
