so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
