eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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