Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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