I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
