There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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