I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
