I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
