Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
