Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
