i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
