Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
