Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
