Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
