But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
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when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
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Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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