I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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