CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
