you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
