We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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