I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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