So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
