hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
