U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
