hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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