the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
