Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize