Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
