im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
