my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
