Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
