His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
