do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
