I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
