but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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