Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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