I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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