i think my mom watched the whole time
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
