He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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