If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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