you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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