I am midnight drunk by noon
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
