i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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