Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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