Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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