If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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