She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize