just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
