I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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