We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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