Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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